To My Husband, Amor de Mi Vida

Fairytales are odd. Children grow up watching and reading stories passed down through centuries–each word and scene sparking their imaginations to dream of worlds full of towering castles, talking forest creatures, and most importantly, a prince and princess. Little girls twirl around in their sparkly Cinderella dresses and run through their houses with their magical fairy wings, while their brothers fight off fire-breathing dragons with the sticks they find in the backyard. 

We encourage children to embrace their fantasies when they’re young, but as they grow up, we teach them that reality doesn’t line up with fairytales. We tell them to let go of their daydreams and then wonder why people lack joy and imagination as adults. We even ridicule those who pursue education and careers in art or writing because “you’ll never get a job in the arts.” But that’s a rant for another day. Today I’m here to talk about the fact that those silly fairytales are, contrary to most opinions, real. And you know how I know that? I’m living one. 

Yeah, you read that right. Okay, before we get too far, I want to assure you that I don’t live in a world full of castles and dragons, and though I talk to squirrels quite often, they haven’t given me the blessing of a response yet (although don’t get me wrong, if that ever happened it would be the best day ever). No, I’m more referring to the prince and princess part of the story. If you’re not into cheesy love stories… well frankly, I think you should keep reading, but this is your warning that I’m going to be talking about love a lot. 

There was a time in my life that I resented love. I didn’t believe it existed–at least not in the human context. Most of this resentment stemmed from past hurt from boys who used me for their own pleasure. They called me when they wanted me, but they seemed to always be busy when I needed them. In an attempt to keep them from leaving, I gave them more and more of myself physically and emotionally, but it was never enough. I changed so much of myself to fit what they desired and received minimal effort in return. Yet just when I had almost had enough and told my friends “I’m breaking up with him,” he would give just enough for me to believe maybe we had something. But a bouquet of roses and the occasional “I love you” couldn’t fulfill what my heart desired. 

I took a few years off from romance because I stopped believing that love was possible. I was an independent, happily single woman who didn’t need romance in her life. I thrived in school, I worked two jobs to advance in my career goals, and I traveled a lot with my friends. Without the attachment to a man, I felt free. I didn’t have to worry about another person because I only needed to care about myself and my future. I planned my whole life out as if I was going to be a single missionary, gallivanting around the world by myself, and that was the plan I told to others when they asked about my future. 

I don’t regret my break from romance because I needed to figure out who I was apart from a man. I invested in my writing, discovered a call to ministry, and visited new places around the world. I applied for seminary, ready to move to New Orleans as a single student and eager to begin training for the mission field. As I devoted more time to myself, I also built up a barrier around my heart. It would take a special person to break down the brick wall guarding my heart. Little did I know, that special person would pop into my life at the most unexpected time.

The phrase “Amor de mi vida” means “the love of my life” in Spanish. I never thought someone would fit that description so well, and yet, I found someone who did. When I met Daniel Collins, I was single and happy, finally at ease with God’s plan for my life. I would be a single seminarian, studying to serve overseas as a single missionary. I was certainly open to a relationship, but I was settled into the idea that God simply didn’t have that in His plan, at least not anytime soon. And then I met Daniel at the front door of the seminary’s student center. 

The first day we met, we served together at the University of New Orleans, helping students move into their apartments for move-in day. From day one, our lives came together through serving God and others. I didn’t know it on that particular day, but I was getting a glimpse into my future. We were going to serve God together for a lifetime. 

After a few months of friendship, we started dating. For the first time in my life, a man encouraged me in my dreams instead of pulling me away from them. He challenged me to think deeply and encouraged me to take difficult classes in seminary because he believed in me. He spent time with me, not out of obligation, but because he truly enjoyed my company. He had his work cut out for you because my heart had been through the wringer, and I was slow to let him into it. Yet, he kept trying, even when I tried to run away. 

We endured Covid lockdowns together, two weeks at my house and two weeks at his. We spent a month apart, calling each other every night for hours because we missed one another so much. When that month of long distance was over, I waited eagerly for him to pull up to my house in his white truck. And I knew without a doubt, for the first time in my life, that he wanted me in his arms just as much as I wanted to be in them. 

I fell more and more in love with Daniel, and we married in July 2021. We’ve been married for a little over two years, and we’ve seen many life changes. We experienced a devastating hurricane, we both graduated from seminary, and we housed some special foster kids. Our life plan changed from the international mission field to the mission field of Norco, LA, and though I never would have imagined this life for myself, I’m thankful that God’s plans are better than mine. 

Daniel Collins is “el amor de mi vida,” and for that reason I write sappy love notes on his birthday. He is the one constant in a life of change, and I know I can always depend on him. He took on the challenge of loving a stubborn woman with a lot of baggage, but lucky for me he has a lot of determination to make up for my emotional resistance. 

Daniel showed me that fairytale love does exist. I never doubt Daniel’s love for me, and I hope he never doubts my love for him. I don’t wear too many Cinderella dresses anymore, but he does make me feel like the most beautiful woman in the room. Our love is not always happily ever after, but it solid and true.

To my favorite person, my constant companion, and el amor de mi vida, I’m so privileged and thankful to be the woman you love. I’m blessed to have a man like you who makes love easy and fun. Happy birthday <3